Sisterhood

 

We can all be grateful for the women in our lives, past and present.

There is so much we can garner from the experience of the relationships we share.

 

As we move forward we can find our connections altered by distance, thought process changes and responsibilities. Sometimes they are changed by destiny.

 

It is important to remember with the changes those that brought values to our lives, such as strength, courage, tenacity etc.

Those that helped shape us with encouragement and propelled us with an unyielding push to go beyond what we are accustomed to.

 

It is equally important to recognize those that would hold us back.

We should never forget their value but also never be afraid to harness our own worth and growth.

 

As we look and hear others we should also look within and trust what is imparted.

When it appears that the move forward will be traveled alone, know it doesn't have to be, and for those that will answer the call to greatness be assured those that are called are also equipped.

 

"Eagles Soar Alone"

 

 



Lavinia

Lavinia

 

Last week Lavinia's testimony was posted.

This week I tell of her life from my perspective. She was and is a mother, caretaker, protector and teacher.

 

Lavinia is my cousin and in the midst of her many addictions she was a caretaker of me.

I lived with her, sometimes coming home to step over those that were nodding in or sleeping off their highs.

Her attributes of mother, caretaker and protector and was demonstrated by forbidding those with whom she indulged to entice me. In all of the dysfunction there was an unspoken respect between us, although I knew, I was not permitted to see any actual drug use. 

She was my teacher in that she refused to let me remain naive to the harshness of the world. My going to church was good but the reality of her life caused me to question God and search him out.

Today I advise, that it is true, we entertain angels unaware.
I also say that like Rahab the prostitute, who hid the Israelite spies that sought to invade Jerhico, Lavinia is a woman who had/has great faith. The life she has lived is not the sum total of her.
Her testimony shared with us what has been. I am encouraged to see what now is and what will be.

We all have a past. We all have a future.
We all are simply in the process of becoming.
  I thank God I am not what I used to be and I thank him I am not yet I am going to be. 


 



Testimony from the Mess to the Miracle

Tame your Time

 

The past week has truly been an experience for this sister.

I have attended two funerals, ran errands, entertained out of town relatives, acted as a chauffeur putting in over 420 miles, hosted a first class event and sat in a county holding room.

 

Whew....this is what most of us women do, and like most of us I did it with a smile, glad to be of help.

 

Even when things are planned, pleasant and leaves us feeling like we have been charitable the

constant movement can wear on us and be a distraction from what we want to do or need to do for the future I mentioned last week.

 

Take time to mourn with those who mourn, be of assistance to those who need, always spend time with family, be elegant at the galas and humble as those that sit in holding cells.

 

and...tame your time!



The Past, The Present and The Future

 

There is a popular song out now with the hook

 "I'm never going back to the way it was"

 

We are quick to agree with the lyrics if the way it was was a time of disappointment or hardship but what about when the way it was was favorable, a period reminiscence of prosperity, laughter and joy.

 

For the latter it seems we are prompt to abandon plans of today that lead us to our tomorrow to travel memory lane.

 

I heard it said that we spend more time fighting to keep what we have than fighting for what we want.

 

Because we should always moving forward I have concluded that to look back as a point of reference may be necessary but to go back can easily hinder or delay us from getting to our future.

 

I look back and am grateful for every experience and lesson I have had. It excites me now to think of this vast world and all I have yet to experience.

 

I am grateful for the past, Glad to be present and am glad to be moving to my future.

 

How about you?

 

 

 



I Speak Life to You

HAPPY NEW YEAR

 

It is my prayer that the reflection of the 2012 year propels us into the new year with great motivation, determination and newness of life.

 

For all that celebrated December 25th as the birth of Christ and believe that Jesus came that we might have life and that life more abundantely I speak life to you.

 

life-(lif)n

 

1. a pleasant easy or luxurious manner of existance (thats the life)

2. a source of vitality or animation force

3. strength or freshness of flavor (full of life)

4. gained consciousness

 

I speak life to you. Be made whole. Eat right, play right and work right. Take your vitamins, take a walk, take a break when you are tired and press on when you are lazy.

 

I speak life to you. See beauty. See the beauty of yourself and of others. Laugh at the irony when things aren't as you expected or hoped. Be grateful for new perspectives.

 

I speak life to you. Do something new. Be sparked with creative ideas and work them with fervor.

 

I speak life to you. Cling and let go. Cling to friends dear and be thankful for them. Let go when it is time and trust the courage inside yourself to get you through when you separate.

Always remember the insights you shared. Smile, laugh and cry.

 

I speak life to you. Because this is a new year, with new opportunities and with it we should have a new vision for a new abundant life.

 

I SPEAK LIFE TO YOU



Apology

Apology

 

I want to apologize to those who have looked forward to a story since the last one posted.

 

I had a goal and was eager to lauch this site
 Oct 20th, Sweetest Day 
Although that was accomplished I allowed distractions of life to come and bombard me.

 

I apologize

 

I have been questioned of the other two husbands so I will repeat #1, tell of #2 and the series will complete next week

 From this day forward I will write the story of

 a sister who is strong enough, courageous enough to tell what she has overcome

Benevolent enough to share what has made her successful

Caring enough to befriend you with her joy.

Again Enjoy and be encouraged in all things    

 

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This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 1

I got saved in the midst of shacking

decided we should be married so I would'nt be in sin

He could have cared less about this new relationship I was developing with GOD

as long as

His comforts didin't change but they did change because I changed

I wanted to learn and grow & become who GOD said I was

I was brainwashed and actually believed WE could be better

He said He loved Me

and would try so

He went to the alter and said He felt something

then

He had a strong desire to smoke a cigarette so He went out gambling and stayed a week

I went to the joint to get Him 'cause We had an anniversary

I wanted to share it with Him and I wanted to share GOD

but

He avoided Me because He had lost

Emotions Flared

I was sad and without patience

He was mad and full of pride

We stopped talking

and

the devil grated us a

divorce

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This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 2

 

I had been set up for this guy

I had a little time to recover from number one

I was living life, loving God and learning God

I had what Paul called a zeal of God but not according to knowledge (Romans 10:2-3)

I hadn't learned enough, what I had learned

 I was preaching but nobody in my outside of church circle seemed to understand or want to hear

Somebody even said to me...Girl! you need to get you some, to calm you down...just a little bit-
God will understand

 

Sooo...one day...on the beach, sun shining he approached me, this fella had swag and filled me up with compliments

but I wasn't hearing them

I was attracted to someone else and the someone else and I were doing over the phone bible studies

 

however, number two was persistent, he found where I worked and showed up on the front stoop of my job with a fresh mouth full of sugar 
I was flattered he had taken the time to find me and since someone else was not pursuing me

I gave all my spare time to the guy who did
We didn't do bible studies but we both knew how to firt and I let my light shine

I remembered God but I had been drawn away from him and truth be told I was liking it.

 

I was embarrased too, my attempt at making it right was...

LETS GET MARRIED 

he didn't want to but we did anyway

 

It was disastrous from the start but I couldn't see the fury we were headed for because I was distracted with fun and deception

We lived the lie for three years until it was made known to me that he was sharing the same deceptive fun outside our household,
their fun produced a child and our fun was replaced with realities to face

We both cried, we tried to talk

but there was no foundation of truth beneath the fun we had 

with no right words and nothing to say

we got divorced

 

This girl them guys, #3

This Girl and Them Guys

Husband # 3

 

Wow! He was this kitty girl's meow

Chock full of knowledge and easy to talk with.

 

I met him before husband #2 through a mutual friend who said he had helped her with her taxes. We visited his home and just chit-chatting I learned he was a jack of many trades 

I was a single homeowner and the skill of some of those trades were needed.

 

The manner in which he worked put me at ease, slowly, casually our conversations gave way to our personal lives. I found myself mesmerized with the words he spoke and the confidence in which he spoke them. I made him my friend, my confidant and my hearts desire. He made it very clear with his words that he had a girlfriend-slash-woman so since I couldn't be with the one I loved I allowed myself to be flattered by husband #2 and the ties were cut with this handyman.

 

When things fell apart with husband #2, I cried  picked up the phone and called my old friend. I wanted to talk this out and hear a man's perspective. He allowed me to pick him up. He counseled me while I drove in circles, giving me the advice to "go home and make your marriage work" but I just couldn't and I admired him all the more for his integrity. I advanced him in my heart and mind dismissing all red flags.

I had long ago released my God given identity of being fearfully and wonderfully made. I spoke it but but my actions were not aligned to this truth. It had been more than 20 years since I began melting in the fantasy of my life and more specifically my life with him.
Prior to our marraige in 2008 I was warned with these words "don't do it" and although at the time my doubts were becoming heavy, in defiance I entered into matrimony.

I read a bubble gum wrapper that said in order for your dreams to come true you must wake up. I was stirred from this long time dream by the reality of our daily living together and had to acknowledge that this union was an injustice to our friendship.

I was so frustrated one morning that I beat him with a wet wash cloth while he stood staring at me. This was far from my character. He was the man that I called friend before husband. This was not the way I wanted to treat anyone, especially someone I deemed friend.

Again I had to be honest and the truth was I could not stay until one of us parted in death.
In less than 3 years I was divorced again

I know that I have learned from each one and am able to laugh at both the good times and insanity I experienced in them.

Any break-up can be heart wrenching but the remedy is to rise and shine from it. Take from it the lessons take are valuable for growth and never surrender with an attitude of defeat.

We overcome



w







 of my life and more specifically the life I shared with him